Shame > Guilt

shame(n.)

Old English scamu, sceomu "painful feeling of guilt or disgrace; confusion caused by shame; state of being in disgrace; dishonor, insult, loss of esteem or reputation; shameful circumstance, what brings disgrace; modesty," from Proto-Germanic *skamo (source also of Old Saxon skama, Old Norse skömm, Swedish skam, Old Frisian scome, Dutch schaamte, Old High German scama, German Scham), which is of unknown etymology. The best guess is that this is from PIE *skem-, from *kem- "to cover" (covering oneself being a common expression of shame). 

It is attested by c. 1300 as "modesty, shyness, regard for propriety or decency;" by 1580s as "thing or person to be ashamed of." To put (someone or something) to shame "inflict disgrace or dishonor upon" is mid-13c. Shame culture attested by 1947. The interjection for shame! "you should be ashamed" is by c. 1300.

Also in Middle English "nakedness, private parts, the genitals," as in the Wycliffite Bible's shameful thingis for Latin verecundiora. and shamfast membris for the male genitalia. 

Until modern times English had a productive duplicate form in shand. An Old Norse word for it was kinnroði, literally "cheek-redness," hence, "blush of shame." Greek distinguished shame in the bad sense of "disgrace, dishonor" (aiskhynē) from shame in the good sense of "modesty, bashfulness" (aidos).

shame(v.)

Middle English shamen, from Old English scamian "be ashamed, blush, feel shame;" by late Old English also transitive, "cause shame," from the root of shame (n.). Compare Old Saxon scamian, Dutch schamen, Old High German scamen, Danish skamme, Gothic skaman, German schämen sich.

The meaning "make ashamed, cover with reproach or indignity" is by 1520s.

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How fascinating that the name for genitals became the act of heaping indignity. What has us feel our genitals are inherently unclean is a topic for a whole encyclopedia about how religion benefits when it creates a culture of fear and anger around sex. We begin with original sin as our underpinning of discovery about this topic.

In England c. 1300 the Church was not one institution among many—it was the invisible scaffolding of everyday life. Every parish bell marked the canonical hours, the agricultural year pivoted round saints’ feasts, and the village church building itself doubled as the only covered meeting space. Tithes were collected as a land-tax, confession was a social obligation, and excommunication could ruin a family faster than any royal fine. Monasteries still owned up to a third of cultivated land, bishops sat in Parliament, and the parish priest was usually the only man who could read a will or write a marriage contract. The Fourth Lateran Council (1215) had recently made annual confession compulsory, so the language of sin, shame and restitution was on every tongue; the interjection “For shame!” drew its bite from this omnipresent religious yard-stick. —BBC

In other words, shame had teeth.

Parliament’s savage recusancy laws (1581-93) criminalised absence from the state church and turned every citizen into a potential informer. Church papistry—outward conformity, inward doubt—became the unspoken norm, and “shame” shifted from private sin to public spectacle: to be labelled “a shame to the parish” was to fail the new test of Englishness itself.

If you didn’t go to church, it was a 20£ fine, equivalent to approximately 8000£ today, according to the Bank of England’s inflation calculator.

Shame had the teeth of a state that would steal your property.

What began as a word that meant to be a modest and respectful act of covering your nakedness morphed into a centuries-long control campaign.

GUILT

guilt(n.)

Old English gylt "crime, sin, moral defect, failure of duty," of unknown origin, though some suspect a connection to Old English gieldan "to pay for, debt," but OED editors find this "inadmissible phonologically." The -u- is an unetymological insertion. In law, "That state of a moral agent which results from his commission of a crime or an offense wilfully or by consent" [Century Dictionary], from early 14c. Then use for "sense of guilt," considered erroneous by purists, is first recorded 1680s. Guilt by association recorded by 1919.

guilt(v.)

"to influence someone by appealing to his sense of guiltiness," by 1995, from guilt (n.). Related: Guilted; guilting. Old English had also a verbal form, gyltan (Middle English gilt), but it was intransitive and meant "to commit an offense, act criminally."

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"As my sense of the turpitude and guilt of sin was weakened, the vices of the natives appeared less odious and criminal. After a time, I was induced to yield to their allurements, to imitate their manners, and to join them in their sins . . . and it was not long ere I disencumbered myself of my European garment, and contented myself with the native dress. . . ." —from Narrative of the late George Vason, of Nottingham 1680

As English explorers visited the South Seas, they encountered cultures who had never heard of annual confession laws or fines for not attending the Church of England. The late George apparently found liberation in their fashion, despite labeling himself a sinner for doing so.

In such a control culture even to this day, where shame is an indispensable tool in cementing the status quo, much confusion lies between shame and guilt. “Shame” and “guilt” are used interchangeably by most people. If this deck had one purpose, it would be to restore words back to their essential meanings so that we can stop falling for these manipulations.

Unlike shame, guilt serves an essential purpose. If you forgive yourself without ever having examined your behavior to learn, your false act of forgiveness only serves to have you repeat this lesson once again. We must take account of our actions if we wish to move forward and have new experiences rather than looping in the same trama drama year after year.

Let us therefore unentangle morality from the opinion of the state. Let us write for ourselves a moral code which honors our essential self. Let us notice, make repairs, and learn when we miss our own internal mark of impeccabilty, integrity, and virtue.