This prompt might come as a bit of a shock. What’s a card about masturbation doing in this deck? Well, it’s an effective way to bring you back into your body. My suggestion for you is to make it not about an orgasm. Focus on the sensual pleasure of having a body. Don’t watch porn or rehearse usual fantasies. Bring your focus on Yusuf own body instead of the bodies of others.

Don’t restrict yourself to typical erogenous zones. If you have massage oil, use it. Touch your thighs and chest like you’d touch your lover’s body. Be your own beloved. This goes for everyone, whether or not you have a partner.

I feel a deep grief which blocks me from following these instructions. Some angry part of me thinks my partner should do this, and absent that - I don’t deserve it or there’s not enough time or some other endless excuse. I expect you might have a block or another flavor. Whatever it is, thank that part of you for trying to keep you safe and do your best to gently move past it.

A deep shift occurs when we physically care for and love our bodies. So many adults go weeks and months on end without anyone touching them for more than a few seconds. If you don’t currently have a romantic partner in Western culture, you’re pretty much out of luck. We pet our dogs and cats more than we pet ourselves oftentimes. It’s obvious how cruel it would be to deny our animal companions that love. We too are animals that need tending to.

Notice if there are any mental blocks that arise. Sex brings up all manner of fears of inadequacy, suppressed desires, trauma, and various and sundry other demons. Issues that your unconscious keeps hidden from you in other parts of your life can flare up out of nowhere when it comes to sex. It brings tensions right to the surface which you’d prefer to keep hidden in more civilized settings, but don’t be fooled — what blocks you in the bedroom blocks you in all aspects of life.

Removing the interaction with a partner greatly simplifies getting to the core of whatever issues block you from self pleasuring. If you’re all alone in a room it’s harder to blame whatever comes up on someone else. Whatever pain or pleasure you create comes from within you. This is always true but it’s easier to notice in solitude. Solo sex lets you explore loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are in this moment.